This is not what i wanted....

Time 9:30 pm
Place : Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi
“No,no don’t do this!!!” Screamed my boss when he saw me drafting my resignation letter 3 hours back. And the past 3 hours have been the most effective & stirring time of my life, I got to know a poles apart face which was concealed, unknown to me even after sharing the same corner of my office with him. I am talking to one of the most despised person in my office who apparently happens to my boss Mr. Furkan Ahmed.
Time 9:30 am
Place : Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi
As the gate of lift number 1 opened on the first floor, I found one of the most familiar face from my life with whom I share almost 12 hours everyday. Mr.Furkaan Ali, DGM-Operations was waiting for me with a typical killer smile, his broad hands came around me & surprisingly he tapped my shoulders with ease & sheltered my shoulders with his hand and we directed towards our corner on the southern part of office.
I was assisted in a great manner to sit on the chair & then it was devils turn. Mr.Ahmed offered me tea and that moment I knew, m gonna have rocking time in the devils cave.
“So, Vinod how was dussehra? Enjoyed? Roamed around in CP, Karol Baug? Or just rested back at your flat?, I wanted to answer all but he broke into my words and asked,”what about the file I gave you to finish, I hope u dint offered to Ra-one last eve, ha ha ha!!! I smiled and waited for my turn. Finally he allowed me to express, Sir, I was going to finish that but I…….” and with this but he was literraly on my butts. You bloody @#$%^>>>*&^%$@#@@######!!!!!!! Cant you do anything right in this world, what the heck talent you have got when you cant give results. Don’t know what HR saw in you and picked you..followed by @#$$####!!!#$$%!!!
And this was yet another great start of the day which has been a part of my life since last 3 months when I joined this organisation. But, today, don’t know why I felt like crying, felt as if his words pierced my heart, me leaning on the floor and as if world has come to stand still.
As it is said, washroom is the best place to cry, I went in, poured water on face but the warmth of tears make you feel their presence(I realised this today). With red eyes I went to my seat, opened my system and started my day officiallywith eyes deep red( but can any tell me how to remove the redness of the eye? )


Time 11:45 am
Place : South corner, Floor 1, Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi

Busy in making reports and analysing the balance sheet of my client,this is what I do everything and save my organisation from entertaining frauds in due course of action. I love this job but there is something which I want, little love, little affection, little appreciation from somebody in the office. I am still not prepared for the robotic world of corporates, I am a human and expect people to be human. M not used to of living the life of a pressure cooker coz I don have the nozzle to ooze out.
Time 3:15 pm
Place : South corner, Floor 1, Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi
Preparing report and hopefully I will finish it in another 20 mints. Skipped my lunch for a food company’s report, ironical isnt it?, nevertheless it is always rewarding feel when you finish your work before 5 pm deadline which cant be compensated by lunch.
Knocked his glass door, May I come in,Sir? “Yes, come my boy, what can I do for you? You showed your face after almost 6 hours, is there any good news ?
I really don’t know, whats his problem, is he a living devil or a devil living in him. Does he have a human identity or lost it…….i should give him a t-shirt “BEING HUMAN”,may be this will change him……probably but almost not certainly.

Mr.Ahmed is now checking the report & me grazing his face for a favourable expression. With some twists in stomach, I am getting signal of large intestine catching up with small one inorder to tell me, hey you bugger, we need some work to do…..we need raw material now!! I picked up the glass of water and gulped so as to assuage my churning intestines for some time.
Time 5:00 pm
Place: South corner, Floor 1, Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi
Now I could see, ladies packing their bags, faces in relief as they can go home now but what about me?
Ahh, now I can see some spark in Mr.Ahmeds’ eyes, he looks satisfied with the report now. “Good job Vinod, I am impressed with you (wow what a great relief*) but cant you do this without getting kicked your ass every morning, cant you do this thing everyday so that I can save my energy which I waste in teaching you the lessions? ( seriously want to say, I can do even if you are on leave, you @#!$@ moroan*)!!
Did you had your lunch or skipped it again? “Sir, I had to skip but nevermind I will go and have some snacks in the canteen”I replied. “wow, it means you are going to waste next one hour in the canteen in the name of snacks, you @#$$@##@!!!!, do you think I am fool? take this file and finish it before EOD…you wont die if you don eat one day.
Time : 5:30 pm
Place: South corner, Floor 1, Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi

……………………….speechless, tired, down ‘n’ out, now even intestines don have energy left to remind me of their demands now………with debilitating eyes, opened file and started again with a thought in mind “is this all for what I wasted all my academic years, studied to get degree in engineering and earned an mba degree? Is this all for what I have left my mother who is in her early sixties alone at home so that I can earn and be the support for her,is this all for what I lost my love who went away …………………………… Is this all for what I left all friends whom I never contact just coz of paucity of time…………………………….…. Is this all I want???
NOOOoooooo, this is not it……….this is not done……..this is not I wanted to be, ……not wanted to do.
I want to live my life, I want some air to breath, I need some space to stretch my limbs, I want to go to my mother and take a long sleep in her lap……………………………I want to live……..this is all I want!!!
Time : 6:15 pm
Place: South corner, Floor 1, Videocon Tower, Jhandewalan Extension, New Delhi
I put my head down on my desk……….and felt like maa is calling me, idhar aaao, chup chap let jao,tumara sir daba doon……aaj baut kaam kiya hai na, thak gaye hoge^!!!
(translation of Hindi sentence into english ^come here my child, lie down so that I can massage your head as you must be tired after all the hard work in the office)
Tears rolled down my eyes, felt her hand on my forehead and she wiped all my tears with her hands and heard her saying, if you don want this then you have always an option to come back but I would never expect my son to run away from the battlefield without giving a tough time to his enemy….…..
But my heart and brain both aligned to give a befitting reply to my enemy. My fingers automatically rolled on the keyboard immediately and started composing a mail, my resignation letter….

Dear Mr.Ahmed,
I wish to inform you that I am resigning with immediate effect……………….
“No,no don’t do this!!!
It was a full throttle scream which came from behind, I turned back, it was my boss there.

This was the Part-1 of the series and the Part-2 will shortly follow this post but before that I want your comments....just guess what will happen next & let me know.

Rgds,
Vinod T.